DON’T TRY TO FIX ME
by April Halprin Wayland
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Just let me be.
Just for a while.
Some big, dead animal presses down.
I don’t know why I feel like this.
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Don’t try to fix me.
Just let me be.
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I have no breath.
There isn’t anything to give—
there’s nothing left.
there’s nothing left.
But I give up.
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The sadness stays.
A heavy greyness settles in.
My bones lie down.
I am alone.
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Don’t try to fix me.
Just let me be.
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I read the paper.
About a friend who’s now a star.
I should be calling—
or sending flowers.
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Don’t try to fix me.
Sit next to me.
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c) 2011 April Halprin Wayland, all rights reserved
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The story behind the poem:
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Yesterday I was feeling so tired. So unmotivated. So unanything. Everything weighed in, pressed down–like a dead elephant on my head. At the end of the day, I realized that it was connected to the fact that I was helping to list autographed books for author Brenda Novak’s FABULOUS on-line auction for diabetes research (which includes books, gift baskets, trips, concerts, jewelry, critiques by well-known authors and much more)
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So many wildly successful authors. So many golden lives. And my book needs yet another rewrite. Yes, oh, yes, I was comparing their outsides to my insides. I knew it. Still, that insidious hopelessness crawled in and made itself comfortable.
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It helped tremendously to identify why I was feeling so low. Just articulating it to myself helped. Then a fellow writer texted, in part: “It’s all smoke and mirrors, Sweet Friend! And when I see you, I’m delighted at God’s Party Dress!” Ah, the balm of friendship—when I’m brave enough to share.
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Now it’s your turn. What are you feeling right now? I felt as if there were a dead elephant on my head. What visual metaphor can you include in a poem to make us feel as you do? Who are you brave enough to share this poem with? Do.