THE DEAL IS SEALED ~ rough draft!
by April Halprin Wayland
Uncle Davie leans down.
Eli licks up.
**************************************
MAN MEETS DOG ~ rough draft!
by April Halprin Wayland
Uncle Davie leans down.
Eli licks up.
The deal
is sealed.
**************************************
MAN MEETS DOG ~ rough draft!
by April Halprin Wayland
Knock on door.
Dog walks in.
Uncle Davie leans down.
Eli licks up.
The deal
is sealed.
**************************************
I wrote the longest one first, then tried to condense it. Which do you prefer?
Bruce says, “First [he means the longest] is best.”
2 Responses
I like the longest too. Although it’s still brief, it gives the broader picture.
Thanks, Linda!
And here are three comments from my FaceBook page:
Joan Phaup: I like the 2nd and 3rd ones, but the knock on the door in version 3 throws me off…WHO knocked on the door? So I am leaning toward version 2.
Rebecca Gold: I liked number 2– the 4 line one. I agree with Joan- the knock on the door added another character (assuming Eli can’t knock) and I liked the image of just the two of them. Very cute.
Doreen Denitz Garcia: I like the second version best.