Clutter metaphor

Clutter cleaned up.

Here are two versions of one of my poems
(with a metaphor that hits you over the head with a hammer).

Raspberries metaphor

raspberries

The “raspberry collective” metaphor I used reminded me of the miniature world in Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who.

Fence simile

Fence

I found this in my files from 2005 … here’s today’s rewrite.

Crow simile

crow

His wings are as wide as the sky
They blacken the whole schoolyard …